Christmas lights on a sailboatWhat if the old Christmas carols had been composed by salty old sea dogs of yesteryear? Can you re-imagine your favorite carol "as sung by a sailor"? Well I can! In fact, I've re-done 6 classics: here they are with my new first lines:

  • Silent Night: "On Christmas Eve night, we got in a fight..."
  • Away in a Manger: "Away in a merchantman, me shipmates and me..."
  • God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen:"No rest ye scurvy sailor-men..."
  • What Child Is This: "What ship be that on them there lee shoals..."
  • O Little Town of Bethlehem: "O little town of Port Royal..."
  • Jingle Bells: "Sailing to the south, in an ancient leakin' brig..."

It's like no other Christmas medley you ever heard, nor are likely to ever again (thankfully!) Just in time to play at corporate holiday parties (if you don't care about keeping your job!), it's a potent antidote to the insipid drivel the stores have been inundating you with since Halloween.

Pick yer poison, Matey... streaming audio or video:


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Attention easily-offended ultra-conservative religious types: Jesus has already been informed by several of your number, and my place in Hell has been duly reserved. Therefore, no action on your part is necessary. Kick back and enjoy your eggnog.

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